Dear Sir,

I recently received a letter from my cousin, Becka, who tells me she is
lookin’ forward to starting a new life (being paroled next Monday).

I was thinkin’, perhaps we could play match-maker, and give her a nice
comin’ home present. I KNOW she’d like this fella! I can’t hardly get
over how much he reminds me of her fourth husband - why, he was
makin’ them VERY SAME faces, right before he died.

Think this one’s got a telephone?